- You don't need to actually change your difficult thoughts or feelings to improve your experience. You just need to change the way you tend to them.
- The way you change isn't by some type of mental trickery or manipulation. It's actually through releasing the shame that surrounds your thoughts and feelings and abilities.
- Uprooting shame isn't this mysterious thing that takes years of practice and mental kung fu. All it takes is intelligence, and it doesn't even take that much. The intelligence is seeing and understanding that you aren't to blame for your shortcomings. You didn't choose your upbringing, your experiences, your teachers, your enemies, the weather, the political climate, the cultural landscape, technologies, social conventions, etc. You were born into these situations and they helped shape the person that you are and endowed you with gifts and difficulties.
- Truly appreciating that you aren't to blame takes the edge off. The thoughts and feelings don't dissolve immediately, but they're less heavy. It's like someone offering to help you carry your baggage. You're still holding it, but it's easier to move with. This is why kids are so joyous and happy and silly: they haven't developed shame.
- The first step is always admitting to yourself what's giving you trouble, i.e., identifying your "issue(s)." If you can do that, there's a lot of hope for you already. Enormous hope. Far too many people live in denial and thwart their chances to really improve their life in significant ways, rather than just superficially through the acquisition of property, admiration, power, and sex that temporarily corroborates their sense of self.
- Everyone owes it to themselves to free themselves from the fetters of shame. This is a very profound level of freedom.
This is really all there ever is and all that needs to be said. It's a universal recipe for addressing any personal obstacles.