Tuesday, December 27, 2011

How do you stop loving someone?

How do you stop being in love with someone if you've shared so much of your heart with them?

THERE ARE TWO KINDS of love. There's the love you feel for a friend or parent, and then there's romantic love. They're the same in that they make you want to be close to the other person, but they're very different in their mechanics. Romantic love is possessive or even obsessive. Romantic love is kind of like an unsealed balloon. If you're not continuously inflating it, it starts to deflate.

Like a balloon, romantic love is perpetuated by certain thoughts of longing and desire that trigger emotional, often painful reaction in your body. If you want the feelings and emotions to stop, all you have to do is stop thinking all those thoughts--stop thinking about the person. You're probably thinking how the hell do I do that? Right. Well, don't try and not think about it, because by not thinking about it, you're actually thinking about it. In fact, don't try and manage your thinking at all. Instead, focus on your behaviors. Change some things in your life so you don't have to think about it/him as much.

For starters, delete his name from your phone. Throw away or delete pictures of each other. Completely stop contacting him, email, phone, texts. Go out with your friends, pick up some new projects. Go out on some dates. Make your life interesting without him. Yeah it'll be hard, but it's the only way to move on, even if you can't really picture it.

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