Happy Thanksgiving everyone. This year I had trouble feeling gratitude. It's not that I'm not grateful...well, maybe I'm not. I don't feel grateful, though. I've had so many things to do that I really haven't had a chance to stop, purge myself of all the thinking and planning, and just feel good. That's not to say I feel bad--there're lots of feelings between good and bad--but I feel genuine gratitude the most when I feel calm and collected.
The thing I love about getting in touch with yourself is the paradox involved. I've always loved puzzles, and trying to feel is a great one for me because feeling is a non-cognitive exercise, while trying (to do anything) is a very cognitive exercise. Feeling happens in a place where words, narratives, definitions, and calculations don't take place. Feeling is the remainder when cognition comes to a screeching halt. It's always there, hiding behind your thoughts and inner dialogue. That's nice because you can never lose it. You can never really lose touch with yourself, your heart, and your inner-strength.
When you see your feelings, i.e., your body and its sensations, without any thought, you see how absolutely weird they are. They're not words, they're experiences, which really gives no additional clarity to what they really are. They're changing from second to second and they have certain properties, but beyond that, everything gets weird. Each sensation seems to blossom on its own in the field of your awareness, and then dissolve into nothingness, and you're sitting here, watching it all unfold like a windows screensaver.
Then the quiet sets in as the body calms down and the heart starts to open. Different feelings cascade through your body as gradually, you are reminded that everything is okay. There are no flaws, just things that haven't ripened yet. Everything is suspended in an ocean of pure compassion as you're reminded of your purpose in life: to spread peace using whatever talents, skills, and tools you have at your disposal.
Thanks everyone, for being on this great journey with me. Peace.