Friday, June 15, 2012

Do men ever change?

Phrightening Photoshoppery
Hi, Edahn

Since you can answer any question... why do you think women change and men don't? To understand that would help relationships immensely. Thanks.

WELL, TO BE HONEST, I can't say with certainty that women change more than men. I've witnessed change and stubbornness in both men and women, but let's assume you're right. I'll give you a few possible explanations.

The boring explanation is that men are socialized to be more assertive and aggressive than women by their families and culture. A dad might counsel his son to stand up for himself and fight a bully, but might tell his daughter to talk to the teacher or try to befriend or reason with a bully. Culture also plays a big part in this. We watch TV shows and movies with assertive males and conciliatory females from a young age.

Another explanation might be that women are better at listening and adapting because they're more attuned to other people in general. Women are the default caretakers, both in the wider animal kingdom and even among humans. They carry their baby, nurse it, and nurture it. Roughly 84% of single parents are mothers, not fathers. Being able to read and relate to others might give them an advantage in compromising, looking at themselves, and making adjustments.

The interesting explanation has to do with dominance. Someone with typical alpha male characteristics like aggression and dominance eschew compromise and listening since an alpha male is possessed by a need to control and conquer, both physically and verbally. In a disagreement, an alpha male would be more likely to assert their position and get their opponent to submit. I do think women possess characteristics of dominance, but I also think men seek women that are slightly less dominant than they are. If that was true, you would see a trend whereby men would seem more stubborn than women. 


syairuh said...

Dude, I literally screamed when I saw that picture.

Edahn said...


Anonymous said...

Thank you That explains it :)