i have a frustration that i wish to solve. i feel a very strong yearning to achieve something extraordinary. but i distract myself with human relationships instead of focusing on the career goal i want to achieve in life. because i have had some really challenging events occur where I live. i have haunting memories. i dont like to admit that because i want to think NO I'm stronger than these memories they dont matter, but then i may be denying my heart, meaning, i think i want to leave this place. i have a strong yearning to move. i am scared of this feeling. i dont know what it means. i feel like in another location i could create things better. be better to society. see clearer. what do i do? how do you know what is the right path?
IF I UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY, you're telling yourself that you're strong and that you don't need to run away from your bad memories, but by saying that, you're committing yourself to your current hometown, where you don't have what you need to make your life goals materialize.
I'm sure you know this, but maybe it helps to hear it from another (sexy) person: just because you leave your hometown doesn't mean you're running away. It's more of a sign that you've healed from the trauma. In the past, your trauma was so intense that your life became a reaction to it. Either you were running away from it, running towards it, or rebelling against it. In all cases, the trauma's involved. But now you're seeing it differently. You see the power it's had over your life and the role it's played and your deeper aspirations are starting to resurface and say "hey, what about me, fucker?" Maybe healing is when you make a decision that has nothing to do with your past. It's not about running away, addressing, confronting, or challenging. It's about something else.
You know how in cartoons, when characters are faced with tough decisions, the angel and devil pop up on their shoulders? I think life is kind of like that, except the bad voice is all your baggage and egoism, and the good voice is your intuition. That doesn't mean your intuition only talks about solving world hunger. Your intuition can, and should always, drive you towards meaning and fulfillment. People can get fulfillment from lots of different places (just ask the perverts), but I think there are some consistent variables:
- The voice of intuition is always calming and awakening. When you hear it, you say "I hear you" or "oh! omg, yes, that makes a fuckton of sense" or something like that. It leaves you feeling determined.
- The voice of intuition is never harmful. It never tells you to take advantage of others in any kind of way, including financially. It doesn't say things like you should build a multitrillion dollar retail chain and rape the environment. It's a noble voice.
- Much like the Spanish Inquisition, no one expects the Voice of Intuition. It takes you by surprise.
- It scares the shit out of you later and you will almost undoubtedly ask yourself...ME?
If it's your intuition talking, listen to it, because knowing that you're resonating with that will help you overcome obstacles and make shit happen.
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