Awkward Department Store Moments

You know what I find interesting? When retail people give you the whisper-hello. I'm browsing through Macy's today. I don't normally shop there, but my mom, bless her heart, bought me a cashmere sweater. They say cashmere is warm, but you know what? I disagree; I think it's just propaganda that the cashmere industrial complex disseminates to boost sales. Besides, I already have a warm coat made from what appears to be giant, malicious BEAR.

So I'm walking through Macy's, trying to wade through their three google pairs of jeans hoping to find just one that fits comfortably and doesn't make me look like I'm wearing tights. Then a saleswoman comes by. Our eyes meet and she whispers "hi." Immediately I think why, O why are you whispering, kind saleslady? Everyone else is talking in their normal voice, the kid next to us is yelling his soul out, there's crappy Christmas music blaring through the obsolete, lo-fi speakers, and here you are whispering your harmless salutation. So naturally, I do what any insane jerk would do, I whisper back.
I look around suspiciously for a moment, then lean in. 
"Why are we whispering...?" I ask quietly.
"Can our regular voice be heard by . . . 'them'?"
She pauses for a second and a quizzical look appears on her face.
"By who?" she asks.
"Whom," I say confidently. "By whom."
I'm a nice guy.