I farted during sex

Dear Edahn,

I'm mortified. The other night I was hooking up with my new BF and I actually farted while orgasming--right on top of him!!! I want to die. I just sorta pretended it didn't happen and continued on as usual. I'm wondering if there is actually any chance that he didn't notice. Is this the kind of thing you might not notice? It's never happened to me before, so I'm wondering how common it is. Also, I haven't seen him since. It was two nights ago. Should I bring it up as a joke, or just hope it never comes up again?

I think we're all hoping it never comes up again. Neighbors especially.

Is there a chance he didn't hear? I don't know. How loud was the fart, and how good is his hearing? Was it scented?

Ideally, farting is kind of Buddhist gift. You can't pretend to be anyone but a completely fallible, imperfect human, and you can't help laugh at the same time. It may seem gross at first, but really, it's a backdoor (no pun yadda yadda) to intimacy. 

But alas, you did what any reasonable person would do and pretended it never happened. "What fart?" you cleverly dissembled. You missed your chance to laugh and for him to say "you sicken me," lovingly. So now what? On the one hand, the moment's kind of gone. On the other hand, it sounds like there's some lingering awkwardness. If I were you, I would address it by telling your boyfriend that you have something really serious to talk about. Once he gets a little worried, tell him you heard him fart during sex. He'll be confused for a minute, and either deny it or blame you for farting. If he denies it, that means he didn't hear your fart. That's your cue to say "it's okay, you can tell me. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody poops," a few times over. If he blames you, then he heard it, in which case you start denying it playfully and say you have no idea what he's talking about. Then, if you want, you can own up to it, say how you immediately went into shock, and had no idea how to bring it up. You both laugh at the situation together and start having sex. And just then...