Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Do I get too wet during sex?

Dear Edahn,

My problem is a bit embarrassing: when I have an orgasm, things get really wet, like soak the sheets wet. I never know whether to warn the guy before, or to just ignore it when it happens. If I warn the guy, I feel pressure to actually have an orgasm, and then I sometimes don't end up having an orgasm, so I usually dont warn the guy. I usually just let it happen and then pretend not to notice it if he doesnt bring it up, or just giggle or something if he does bring it up. So, two questions: is my little problem really unhot? and how should I deal with it in bedroom situations?

Is it unhot? That all depends on your attitude about it. Do you think it's sexy? Do you think there's something erotic about it? Something a little dirty? You wouldn't be the first person to see the high-kink value in your gift. There's a whole subculture of sexual deviates (*awkward twitch*) who are really into this stuff. I hear. If you think of it as something hot, your guy will think it's hot, and then you can start taking precautions to avoid making too much of a mess. A simple towel should do the trick.

Here's what you're going to do:
A. Go surf the web for some "squirting" videos. Watch enough porn until you start to see how hot this all is. Make sure the sound is on.
B. I get that you want to be able to warn the guy but at the same time don't want to generate too many expectations about your having an orgasm. The first time, don't worry so much. Don't be embarrassed about it; think of it as a symbol of your superpower. If he makes a comment like "damn, the sheets are pretty wet" you can say "you didn't mention you're a detective!" or, if you prefer "yeah, you really made me cum a lot." NO GUY WILL EVER HAVE A PROBLEM AFTER THAT, GUARANTEED, OR YOUR MONEY BACK.
C. The next time you have sex, suggest you put a towel to protect the sheets from being sullied by you kinky ass bitches.

Have fun with it and stop being so worried. If we all had sex the exact same way, the Matrix would be a boring place.


pam said...

A towel won't help. She needs plastic or rubber!

Anonymous said...

the you made me cum a lot is great advice and will totally work. well put.

but there is some law of diminishing return here. eventually, the guy won't believe he's got that power every time. or maybe he will, because he's in love with his dick.

either way, I'd be scared to approach that vag.

Anonymous said...

Just because you're a squirter doesn't mean you're a sexual deviaNT.

edahn said...

No, of course not. But if she already is embarrassed about it, then going the kinky/deviant route is a nice midpoint between acceptable and unacceptable.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but the negative comment from the male about a female squirter? A little bit of irony, don't you think? Men produce varying amounts of cum, does anyone hold it against them, hell they want us to swallow it all! Being wet and squirting is awesome. It makes the act of sex really pleasurable. Most men I know LOVE the idea they can get a woman really wet. Most men I know would be thrilled that they could get a woman to cum like that. Embrace it! Have fun! Laugh! If you aren't with someone who loves that part of you, maybe you aren't with the right person?

edahn said...