Dear Everyone Else,
You've been seeing your SO exclusively for a yr. Your friends calls to tell you that they saw your SO on a dating website and that they logged in 10 days ago. SO admits they were on the site, but says that it was just to surf profiles because they're curious about what people write in them. SO shows you that there have been no communications with anyone for a yr, but they could have been deleted. How do you proceed?
[Your answer here]
I would take like 10 steps back. I would get busy focusing on things I like to do and people in my life who are important to me rather than focusing on the relationship too much. If I were feeling particularly spiteful, I would tell him, "what a great idea" open up my own jdate account and log in all the time "just to check out profiles."
They aren't so significant if they can't commit.
Creepy. Exit stage left.
Maybe I'm crazy, but I disagree with everybody else...this actually happened to three different friends of mine-- two couples are still together and the other broke up (although not over this issue). Firstly, it's pretty easy to tell if a dating profile is one that is intended for "just looking" purposes vs actually contacting and meeting people, so that excuse would or would not fly based solely on the content of the profile itself. I think the bigger issues here are trust and communication-- you either trust your partner or you don't (this is of course coming from the mouth of a girl who retardedly believed her boyfriend when he said he was "just sleeping next to" his female friends). The point is: If you trust your partner, you believe him/her when s/he says s/he was on the site for other purposes. If you are uncomfortable with his/her actions, it is your responsibility to communicate that to your SO. If you are in truly committed and trusting relationship, where you are both content and satisfied with each other's level of investment, emotions, and actions, then it shouldnt really bother you that s/he was on the site. I think this would be a perfect opportunity to take the relationship's temperature, and have an calm and honest dialogue about where the relationship stands and its potential future. If your SO is somewhat unsatisfied with the relationship, and that is the reason they were shopping for your potential replacement, this would create a non-threatening opportunity to discuss the reasons why and whether or not they can be remedied. If your SO is telling the truth, then you come off as concerned and caring rather than as untrusting and accusatory.
Destroy their computer.
He's there to 'search other profiles!' In a lot of people's vocabulary that spells 'still looking.' If SO's partner knowingly continues to be in the relationship, he/she would do best to keep in mind that SO, after one year, is still looking.
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