The Beauty of Acceptance


I have seen a lot of beautiful things in my life -- award-winning rosescalligraphy samples by J.S. Griffith, Girls Gone Wild Jamaica -- but nothing as beautiful as acceptance. I'll admit, I have not accepted myself or my circumstances entirely; I am not enlightened; and I lack wisdom and insight in many areas of (my) life. But I have glimpsed acceptance in myself and in others and realize it's value.

Acceptance forms the cornerstone of my therapeutic approach. People let their mind get absorbed in worrying and theorizing about the past and future -- questions about their next move, how to "exfoliate" their personality, who they are, how they work, mistakes they've made, how to resolve problems, patch up holes in their lives, blah blah blah. Those questions undoubtedly have their time and place, but in excess, they negate contentment and peace, what I prefer to call "Rest." I'm a firm believer that the best place to answer those questions is from a state of Rest, anyway.

Here's the analogy I wrote in my diary journal. Think of a person as a hot air balloon waiting to float off effortlessly, except the balloon is tied down on both side. One side represents past hang ups (ex-lovers, mistakes, speculations); the other side, future hang ups (how will I take the next step, resolve this issue, change where I am, fix myself). The therapist, guru, guide, even friend's task is to sever those hooks that keep the balloon grounded through whatever tools they have at their disposal: inspiration, empowerment, patience, good modeling, explanation, closure, listening. Each situation requires a different tool, but the end result is always the same. The person stops resisting the situation they find themselves in. They accept the past mistakes, accept the uncertainties of the future, and they begin to float. They find a place to Rest in their present predicament, as shitty as it is. You can see the difference on their face and usually a smile starts to form. Very, very pretty.